And then my heart grew

I have a vivid memory of sitting cross-legged on the playroom floor, amidst colourful Duplo blocks and balls of various sizes with ABC playing softly in the background.  My very pregnant belly rests on my thighs and contracts every few hours while my first born, just over a year old, quietly plays beside me.  When he crawls over my legs and slobbers on my cheek, I cry.

The birth of my second child was imminent and while I was longing for the moment we’d meet, I was terrified that I could never love him as much as I love my first.  But the second he was placed in my arms, my heart swelled to new proportions and tears of joy rained on his face.

Pema Chodron reminded me of my uncertainty when I came across a quote.  What beautiful sentiments to include in a card to a mom-to-be.

When you begin to touch your heart or let your heart be touched, you begin to discover that it’s bottomless.

What about you?  Did you have similar fears before your children were born?

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2 thoughts on “And then my heart grew

  1. That’s a beautiful quotation. I remember telling my neighbour when I was pregnant with our second and he said “Babies come with their own love; there’s always plenty to go around.” He was right.

  2. I learned this when I first held my niece, she was so spectacular I thought I couldn’t love my nephew as well when he came along. But then I’d look at him, and he’d be spectacular, and suddenly I was crystal clear that the best baby ever was whichever one I loved and was looking at at that moment. This early lesson was wonderful, as I had no fears over lack of love when I became a mom myself. Love really does feed itself.

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