Top Ten Ways to Ensure You’re Ready For Christmas

One of the biggest problems with Christmas is that it tends to sneak up on you. There you are, having just finished the last piece of Hallowe’en candy, and BAM! It’s December and you haven’t purchased a single gift. Here are some easy-peasy ways you can ensure that you’ll be ready to put your feet up on Christmas Eve:

10.Convert religions. Stat.

9. Foment dissent among Santa’s Elves. Hire the deserters to be your own minions.

8. Start shopping earlier. Like, in January.

7. Leave your Christmas Lights up all year (Use red and white lights and they double as Canada Day decorations. Clever!)

6. Train your children to make hors d’oeuvres

5. Scrawl “Return to Sender” on Christmas Cards as they arrive. Saves time and postage!

4. Cook two turkeys at Thanksgiving.

3. Clone yourself

2. Pimp out the Elf on the Shelf

And the number one way to be ready for Christmas on time:

1. Everyone gets Chia Pets!

In all seriousness, it’s now three days before Christmas, and I’m indeed the creature stirring at all hours, trying to figure out how to bend time and space so that I can get everything wrapped, baked and ready for the weekend. I’m highly unqualified this Christmas to offer any sort of advice on time-saving, but I do know one thing: a sense of humour is crucial to getting through Christmas, or any other holiday, relatively unscathed. That, and wine. Lots of wine. Drink enough of it, and you’ll forget you had anything else to do!

From my house of chaos to yours: Merry Christmas.

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