A few years ago, I received a Christmas card from Nathalie and inserted between the fold was a list of Quotable Quotations (click here to read her most recent post on the subject) overheard in her home. Innocent, funny and yes, downright adorable, quips her boys had made over the past year.
I loved the idea of recording the some of the boys’ conversations and made-up words (or mis-words) that have caused me to cover my smile with the back of my hand or turn away, hoping that the shaking of my shoulders won’t give me away.
I jot down these funny sentiments each year, using the Notes app on my iPhone but I blogged about this journal earlier this year and think that I should probably invest in it.
Here are some of the memorable Jonespeak quotations overheard this year. (For 2010’s click here)
My middle son had tubes put in his ears at the start of 2011 to stave off infections. It was a big relief for him – and provided me with lots of notes for my Jonespeak file.
When asked why he was getting tubes put in his ears, my middle son replied:
I am getting my ears fixed because I don’t listen to mommy.
On his way into surgery for his ear tubes, a very cranky and very tired, 2 year old says to the ENT:
I don’t like wearing your pajamas (referring to the scrubs). Go put them in the laundry!
At his follow-up appointment, my middle son showcased his new hearing (and aptitude for comedy).
Audiologist to S: Repeat after me.
S: Yes, please!
Last year, my oldest son taught me perhaps we should improve our church attendance.
J: We had a supply teacher today.
BA: Was the teacher a man or a woman?
J: A woman and she goes to church.
BA: How do you know she goes to church?
J: She’s old.
After watching Toy Story 3 and Andy leaves for college my oldest says to his crying mommy:
J: Why are you crying?
BA: Because one day you will get big and I will be old and you will move out.
J (starting to cry): I don’t want to move out. I don’t want you to get old and start going to church!
2011 proved to be an exciting year for our family. My brother got married the weekend before Halloween and I learned that what’s exciting to adults just doesn’t hold the same appeal for kids.
BA: Are you excited for your uncle’s wedding?
S: No. But I am excited for Halloween!
J: I am going to wear my dress shirt, my dress tie and my dress pants to Uncle M’s wedding because that’s nice. What are you going to wear?
S: My dog suit, because that’s nice! (see picture)
Apparently, my boys notice the lack of females around this house too.
J is making a construction paper bracelet for mommy.
BA: Where did you learn how to do this?
J: I learned from Beatrice. She knows everything about sparkles and girl stuff.
BA: Do you like learning “the girl stuff”?
J: No, I like learning boy stuff. I learn girl stuff so someone can look after you.
S to BA: I know what you need for Christmas.
BA: What do I need?
S: You need a baby girl because you have too many boys!
In 2011, I learned that I need to brush up on my birds and bees talk.
J: How do babies get in your tummy?
BA: Well, we all start off as eggs.
J: I was an egg?
J: You were an egg?
J: S was an egg?
S: Ugh. I don’t even like eggs!
And of course, there was just some adorable exchanges that enforce that kids really do say the darn’dest things.
BA: Good night. I love you. Sweet dreams.
S: Good night. I love you. Sweat jeans.
J: Hey, I like your elephant hat. It’s pretty cool.
S: Yeah. I know, I am lucky. Do you want one?
S: Too bad.
My middle ones sees some crumbs on the counter after I made banana bread.
S: Mommy, this place is a mess! Looks like you have a big job to do!
BA: Please take your books upstairs with you.
S: I can only do one thing at a time. I am a boy!
J: Don’t litter. You’ll make the polar bears stink!