What Mistakes?

I didn’t make any rookie mistakes as a parent.  I’m never wrong.  Just ask my husband.  He got me a t-shirt that reads: “To Save Time, Lets Just Assume I Know Everything.”

Of course, I can’t wear the shirt in public because while I am perfect, it is not.  It has random capital letters and a missing apostrophe.

So, let’s ask the kids.

“Kids?  I’m perfect, right?  I didn’t make any mistakes as a parent.”

“Thanks, Mom.  You’re the best, Mom.”

I’ve programmed them to do that, see.  In response to every gesture and reminder and plate of food served.   If they forget to say it, I say it for them.

“Here’s your lunchbox.”  Pause.  “Thanks, Mom.  You’re the best, Mom.”

Works wonders.  Covers a multitude of occasions.  Gratitude and humble submission to my supremacy.  Nope, nothing will go wrong with this plan.