Sometimes, the myths that we pass down to our children are not the work of generations. Sometimes, they are purpose-made. This week’s guest post is an anonymous one, to preserve the myth.
Three mothers of my acquaintance (we’ll call them Larry, Curly and Mo), have girls in the early years of bra-wearing, and as these mothers lounged and chatted on the dock at the cottage last summer, they realized that they shared a frustration: their girls all sleep in their bras. (Me, I can’t wait to take the damn thing off at the end of the day, but I guess when it’s a novelty….).
Aside from the obvious concern about discomfort, there was the additional concern that perhaps the bras were not being laundered quite as often as is hygienically ideal. After all, one cannot wash one’s undergarments if they remain forever under garments.
So these mothers hatched a plan. A clever, tricksy, wicked plan. Knowing that the direct route to modifying children’s behaviour (“Because I said so!”) does not always work, they conspired to be overheard in alarmed conversation, and it was not long until their girls drifted into earshot. So, off they went, off the cuff:
Larry: Did you hear about that report on boob acne?
Curly: On what?
Larry: Boob acne!
Mo: Oh, yes! I read about that. You can get acne around your breasts from wearing a bra 24 hours a day.
Larry: Not just acne. One woman’s boob acne got so bad that it got infected.
Curly: From wearing a bra to bed?
Larry: Boils and pus and agonizing pain.
Curly: Eeeeeeew. Gross!!!!
Mo: I know, right.
Larry: More wine anyone?
And that was all it took. No more bras are being worn to bed by the young women in the homes of Larry, Curly and Mo.