And the survey says . . . an informal poll of teachers representing various grades, school districts and both the public and private reveal what teachers want parents to know now that school is in full-swing!
The Early Years
Your child is excited to see you at pick-up. Get off your cell phone. In a few years time, they won’t want a bear hug and to be smothered with kisses in plain sight of their friends.
Remember, “school clothes” and “play clothes”? Unless your child wears a uniform to school, school clothes should be play clothes. Don’t send me a note about how paint splatters stained an expensive shirt. Learning can be messy!
That includes footwear! Yes, I know those red-glittery Mary Janes are adorable and that Crocs are a favourite, but appropriate footwear for running around the gym, they are not.
When a four year old has to pee, they have to pee yesterday. Fiddling with the likes of zippers, toggles and buttons means that there will be an accident that I have to cleanup, while simultaneously teaching 19 additional children.
The same goes for snack containers.
Don’t badger me at drop-off and pick-up. I know you have concerns. I read your emails and listened to your phone message but let’s arrange a time to talk without the ears of other parents and children around.
The Tween & Teen Years
I am not calling/emailing/texting/courier-pigeoning you if your child didn’t do his/her homework. Especially, if they are in grade 12.
It’s okay if your child makes mistakes. Let them. That’s how they will learn.
I know when you do their homework. It’s no great mystery that you did it when their report on Mayans is thirteen pages, double-spaced, APA formatted and bound in a Dou-tang when in-class it’s a miracle if I can get a legible and coherent three paragraph response.
Stop comparing your kid to another’s kid. Furthermore, stop comparing yourself to the other parents.
Let kids be kids. They feel enough pressure to grow up quickly.
Stilettos for a grade 8 Graduation are not appropriate. Neither are skimpy dresses. Or professionally done make-up.
It’s okay if your kid doesn’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend. There is a lifetime for relationships like that. What’s more important is your child being a good friend to others?
Learn to say “no” to your kids! Believe it or not, they want you to!
For All The Years
Teach your child to be independent. Teach them to put on their own shoes, pack their own packs, return their own forms and manage their own projects. When you do things for your child that they can do for themselves, you’re doing them a disservice! Chances are they are capable of a lot more than you are giving them credit for.
Buying your child a new agenda, backpack, iPhone, computer, fancy jacket, boots, running shoes . . . . the list could go on . . . just because they lost the first doesn’t teach them responsibility. Did they even check the Lost and Found? Chances are, no!
Sometimes it is inevitable that you will need to book an appointment for your child during school hours but book these with discretion. Haircuts are not critical and do not count!
Remember that I am a human being too. Sometimes I make mistakes. Don’t trash talk me in front of your kids. Cut me some slack and I will cut you some too.
Spend time with your kids. Turn off the TV, the computers, and the social media and just be together. Go for a walk, play a game, make dinner together. Your child will perform better in school
Most Importantly . . .
Your child is not a genius.
4 Mothers 
Well said! Particularly the independent part. We had an information evening for parents of children’s starting school next year and we specifically said similar things. They CAN hang up their own bag, hand over that permission note by themselves!
Brilliant!!!
*your child
It’s my lame attempt at a joke 🙂
But I don’t think it translated! I guess joke’s on me!
Thank you for this. My little one is 6 so I have several years to practice what you preach.
The time is going to fly by . . .
Well done! I’ve been on both sides and this is great advice for parents.
Thanks, Kirsten!
Reblogged this on mymeltingpot and commented:
As a Pre-K teacher myself, I absolutely can relate to all of these points 🙂
The phone one always gets me. It makes me sad when I see a three year old run into their parent’s arms only to be shushed. Thank you for the re-blog!
You’re welcome:). And yes, the phone one sometimes makes me upset, even we already discuss it over and over again with the parents 😦
My favourite: Your child is not a genius. So true!! 🙂
Sad but true.
Reblogged this on A Normal Mum and commented:
I cannot wait to leave full-time work in four weeks to see my little boy’s face every day after school, excited to see his Mummy and share his day. A precious part of his life I have missed for the first term of pre-school. I loved this post; parents should be teaching their children to respect the authority of teachers, which I think can be over-looked. I also think we as parents should show our children we are united with their teachers, and echo their messages, much in the same way that I think two parents should show their children a united front, even if there are sometimes differences of opinion (which should be dealt with privately).
YES! You are so very right!
My daughter is only three so I still have most of this to look forward to. Loved it though….very well said. Especially loved the ‘get off your cell phone’. The number of parents I see looking at their phones while their kid is trying to tell them something is unbelievable. What could be more important at that time then your child telling you something about their day!
The best part of my day is picking up my three year old from pre-school. The way he looks at me makes me feel so loved!
What makes my day is picking up our grandson from S/K where I receive a hug and kiss and a huge smile. Could life be any better….I do not think so. We are so fortunate to have him with us as he brings so much to our lives as we do for him.
I think that this post needs to be seen by many parents…now to get it out there. Thank you for posting it.
As a former Teacher in Canada I can relate to all the messages and directions here and know without a doubt that each and every one has merit…. The word “yes” in the home needs to be tempered with the word “NO” when appropriate for the situation… DO NOT BE AFRAID you child will hate you… later they will love you for you putting them in the right direction, keeping them from making some serious and possibly lasting mistakes and letting them know they are important enough that you “care” to say NO! …just not to the point you will not say “NO” if that is truly caring!!!! Most Teachers love their “job” and do most often consider it more than a job but contributing to the well being of Society in the future…You too Moms and Dads care enough to be vigilant in knowing all your kids do and where they are and who they are with. If the task sounds wearing it is…. AND it is the most important JOB you will ever have…. be involved! in all aspects…not nosy. not condescending, not nastily but on the positive to have a positive outcome…
You comment reminds me of a time when my I said no to my very young son and he replied with “You are so mean!” and I told him that it is my job to do what’s right not what makes him happy. Thanks for the reminder!