Funny Quotations: The Grown Ups’ Version

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Every year, we collect the funny things our kids say and send out the list as our holiday letter.  We’ve been doing this for a decade, now, and it’s one of the highlights of my year to put the list together and send it out with the Christmas cards.  This year, I thought I’d collect some of the funny things the grown-ups in my life have said.  Intentional and non-intentional parenting wit.  Enjoy!

My son couldn’t find his favourite soccer shin pads this morning, and I took them to him at lunch time.  I was creeping around, trying not to get caught.  We’re not supposed to be rescuing them anymore.  We are supposed to let them experience non-catastrophic failure.

I find myself giving my son the finger, with both hands, when his back is turned.  He’s a teenager.  When hitting is totally taken out of the equation, I find that profanity really is the only release.

Put away the weapons, boys.  The housekeeper will be here any minute.

Kindergarten teacher to the parents at the start of the school year: I’ll make you a deal.  I promise to believe only half of what they tell me about you, if you promise to believe only half of what they tell you about me.

“Mommy, you’re the bad cop.”

My extroverted husband picked up Quiet and said, “I feel like you come with a manual that I haven’t read.”

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