The word I wanted to choose for 2015 is equanimity, because I suspect the year will be characterized by change and I’d like to possess some composure through it. Lacking confidence, however, I’ve shelved equanimity in favour of order, which feels plenty ambitious to me but at least has more to do with a state of things rather than being.
When things are running fairly smoothly on my end, there is still a level of disorganization in my life. I don’t naturally have a particularly organized mind, but it’s good enough and most of what needs to happen happens. It’s kind of like taking a country road, not always the fastest way to go, but a nice route.
When life gets overly involved, that manageable disorganization devolves into disorder, which for me is essentially unmanageable disorganization. Life is more difficult in this state, and harder to execute, like taking the road with lots of lights and potholes.
Beyond disorder is a relatively new and stimulating place I’ve discovered called chaos. This, my friends, is the wrong road. Here, my kids come downstairs to an unmade breakfast half-dressed because there are no clothes in their drawers and I have started the day 30minutes too late, and things continues pretty much like that, over and over again.
My goal for 2015 is to rescue my adrenal glands and climb out of chaos. I want to channel my best powers of order to return to a disorder or better. I want my country drive back, or at least the chance to avert a pothole.
The other thing about order for 2015, is that I want to better sort out the order of my priorities. I have little in my life now that doesn’t really matter, there’s little room in the car for hitchhikers or extra luggage. Having winnowed out a lot of discretionary items and pleasures (some of which I rather miss), I’m still left with a full, full load. It’s all good stuff but it’s unwieldy and more is more isn’t really my style. What of all these great burdens matter most? I’m hoping order will help me determine this.
What about you? What’s your one word aspiration for the brand new year? We wish you all the best for 2015, whatever it is.