Kate Middleton, Get A Job! (And Our Giveaway Winner!)

Never one to shy away from stating her opinions, Globe and Mail columnist Katrina Onstad, wrote on Saturday February 5, 2011 that princess-to-be, Kate Middleton should get a job.

Onstad argues that Middleton and Michelle Obama, along with “opt-outers” (a minority group of educated, privileged women who choose to play a supportive role to their high-powered spouse) are ultimately depriving themselves not only of compensation but contribution.

Needless to say, these are fighting words that have long fueled the battle between stay-at-home moms and working mothers.  The 4mothers have a lot to say in response to Onstad’s comments and will be the focus of February’s At Issue.

photo credit: http://www.people.com

Giveaway Winner:

We also want to announce our movie date night giveaway winner is Melanie!  Congratulations Melanie – we hope you will have a great belated Valentine’s Day evening at the movies.


Dear Reader: THANK YOU!

To all of our new readers and the powers that be at WordPress:

Last Friday, started out as a typical weekday morning: wake up at an ungodly hour, feed the baby, change the baby and try to mediate the daily “Plate War” (who gets which plate) between my two older boys while making them breakfast.  Is it a gym day?  A library day?  Who knows!  I am convinced that the 5 day calendar the school uses is a cruel gimmick to cause greater stress and aggravation in the morning.

Once I had determined it was just a regular day, I loaded all three in the mini-van (talk about adding insult to injury – as if disheveled appearance isn’t embarrassing enough). One, two, three . . . I count to ten as my almost 4-year-old struggles with his seat belt.  Four, five, six . . . I refrain from helping (a.k.a. taking over) him push the metal clips into the base, because I am trying, desperately trying, to encourage his independence.  Seven, eight . . . It would be so much quicker if I just hurdled over the middle seat and snapped it in myself.  Nine . . .I look into the rearview mirror and silently curse myself for not getting them into the car earlier.  Ten, eleven, twelve . . .  Is it going to be one of those mornings?  Thirteen . . . pride washes over me when I hear him excitedly announce that he is ready to roll.  A wave of guilt assaults me.  Today I will focus on being more patient.

My middle son struggles with his backpack while heading into his Preschool.  Moments before the door is to close he bolts back, tears streaming down his face, and begs me to stay.  All part of the morning ritual.

I wrangle my kindergartener and three-week-old infant out of the van.  We wade through the throng of balls being tossed, children running and wielding skipping ropes until we reach where he needs to line-up and wait for his teacher.

Naturally, the baby starts to cry.  He is voicing both his annoyance about his neglect and his hunger.

It is when I am back at home, baby fed and content, that I turn on the computer.  I have a whopping 90 minutes before I have to start the whole routine in reverse order.

I silently curse the local cable company.  My internet must be down again.  It’s taking forever to load my email message.  Once loaded, I turn my curses towards the email provider.  Why are there so many emails from WordPress?  It is not possible that more than one hundred comments have been on 4mothers this morning.  Not possible.

I read the first one and prepare myself to delete the next ninety-nine.  There must be some sort of glitch and the same message must be re-sending.  Before I start mass deleting, I check to be sure.  A new comment!  Not from one of the other 4mothers.

Another. New. Comment!  And another!

I log onto WordPress and see a familiar picture of a woman cradling her infant.  It’s me!  The headline, I wrote it!

I wrote it in a sleep deprived fog, not yet two weeks post partum while my 2 ½ and 3 ½ year old boys slept upstairs and my infant son was nestled in his bassinette at my feet.  To be honest, I forgot what I had written.

To all of the readers who clicked on the post – thank you, thank you, thank you!  I know that many of you experience some variation of the day that I described and the fact that you took 5 minutes out of your precious time to read about me and how I was a better mother before I had my kids, not only was intensely gratifying but also inspiring.

More than 250 readers commented on the post, many of whom shared their own parenting experiences.  These comments had me laughing out loud, nodding my head in agreement and at times reflecting on my own mothering.  There were commenters that challenged me and enlightened me.  There were commenters that puzzled me and concerned me.

When Nathalie, Carol, Marcelle and I started 4mothers, this is exactly what we intended to do.  We wanted to create a forum where parents could share their thoughts and experiences, offer suggestions and advice.  We wanted our posts to be merely a platform from which discussions would be born, flower, transform and evolve.

Thank you to those who shared their stories – revealing themselves.  Thank you to everyone who supported the honesty and in doing so cultivated the exact virtual community that 4mothers set out to create.

Thank you WordPress for turning an ordinary day into an extraordinary day!

A special thank you to the bloggers who revealed their own “never list” and to those who re-posted this article.  Another special thank you to the following blogs who posted about us.  If you did and I missed you, I am sorry.  Send me an email and let us know!