When my friend, Carol, first talked to me about guest posting on 4 Mothers, I jumped at the chance. What an honour!
I read the first topic and thought, great! Then I read the second topic, The 5 Love Languages … hmm, sounds interesting. I’d never heard of it and I was intrigued.
Can I tell you a secret? I read the article which summarized the 5 Love Languages and I’ve been agonizing over what to write ever since. I hate to be a Debbie Downer but it just didn’t resonate with me. At. All. In fact, I thought some of the ideas were totally bogus. Eek! Does this make me a guest-blogger-failure? I hope not!
I’ll just say right off the bat that “Receiving Gifts” was a weird one. Giving or receiving gifts is a language of love? I thought that it either (a) assumed people had the money to spend on such gifts or (b) if you go with the it-doesn’t-have-to-cost-a-lot-of-money-idea just made me think of dollar store junk, or things that are cheap, or things that are meaningless – because you’re only buying/making/finding things because you think it will show someone that you love them. I don’t know. The idea that material things are an expression of love doesn’t work for me. Don’t get me wrong, I love to receive gifts, but I thought this was really a reflection of the world in which we live – one of over-consumption and obsessed with the collection of material things.
“Acts of Service” was another one that irked me. As soon as I saw the title it immediately made me think of gender binarism. Maybe it’s the term “service” that rubbed me the wrong way. It seemed to me a throwback to the bad ol’ days where a woman was expected to serve her husband. I know, I know, the summary article actually says to be mindful of the stereotypes. But still, I can’t help but detect a whiff of the patriarchy here.
The others: “Words of Affirmation”, “Quality Time”, and “Physical Touch”. Okay, sure. I guess. We all like some of these things more than others. I’ll give the authors that.
The author, Dr. Gary Chapman says, “love is a decision, not a feeling”. How utterly unromantic. Sorry, Doc, no. No way. Not for me.
Finally, the fact that his website directly targets churches, and that the author has written religious books makes me want to run away.
So, I kind of hated The 5 Languages of Love. Umm, ya … awkward.
So anyways, how ‘bout them Maple Leafs?
Amanda is a Toronto mum of four kids; three boys and a girl; ages 6 to 12. She writes about life as a busy mum, touching on food allergies, feminism, ADD, stuttering, gardening and a million other things. Amanda blogs at Family Nature.
Photo by schizofom via Flickr