– Sometimes I tell the boys that I have to go to the washroom but I am really just reading magazines in there with the door closed.
– I secretly love delegating chores around the house to the boys that I hate doing, like cleaning out the compost bin.
– I have this awesome magnet on the fridge (it says: Hopes and dreams would only distract me from making these awesome casseroles!) and there are days that I just need to look at it.
– When one of my boys has a temper tantrum, I sometimes make-believe that I am an undercover special agent responsible for talking a mad-man into sparing the human race,
– And if that doesn’t work, I scream FUCK YOU in my head while I smile sweetly and calmly say in a sing-song voice: “Let me know when you’re done having your temper tantrum.”